September 4th
I had intended to write this post tomorrow, after the 1st day of school. After I see the excitment on his face when he sees his friends and greets Pokey (the turtle) again. After I walk away and the world doesn't crumble and come to an instataneous end, after I smile to myself and think of all the stories that will greet me at the end of the day. I look forward to hearing his take on the day and how Delaney's summer was and what story they read, and so forth. And then I can put my sappy, sentimental, only one more year till Kindergarten mind to rest. I can stop thinking about my own feelings and focus on his very important 4 yr. old interpretation of life. And that makes me smile. I'll admit that I still have a vision of chasing down the school bus driver next fall and demanding that he return my baby, but I have a year to work on that. Hopefully, by this time next year my counselor has worked on my seperation anxiety issues.
So, tomorrow is the day of joy for Jack and the feeling in my gut that I know I will feel as I turn and walk away. And I'm sure I'll turn and take a last peak through the glass for my own mental snapshot of his first day of school.
*************************************************************************************
September 5th
Today is the day and I was early to rise, before the kiddos opened their eyes. Truly my favorite mommy time of the day and sometimes the only...and I felt refreshed as I sipped the heavenly cup of joe. The day began clear and beautiful as a reminder to me that this needed to not be a sappy day, but a happy one.
Jack rose excitedly, chanting, "it's my first day of school, my first day of school" and again I smiled to myself. I can enjoy his excitment as I cuddle him as he is still in the early morning wake up state. I still try to hold his growing frame as I always have and he still lets me, luckily. As I talked with him about what he was most excited about I was internally being thankful that he still enjoys being wrapped in a bath towel burrito and hugged after bathtime, that he will still tells me he loves me at random times throughout the day and that I have still earned my favorite phrase, "your the best mom ever"...as if he had a choice on mothers. He's still and always will be my little boy and that's all that really matters to me. I do know that over the years we may define our closness in different ways, he won't always climb in bed with me when he hears Jay leave in the early morning...and that's okay.
The classroom greeted us cheerily as always, and I passed the camera to Jay as Jackson helped his new teacher hang the picture of himself for the year on Pokey the turtle's aquarium. I glanced at a quiet Jay as he watched Jack acclimate himself quickly to the room, as if he had never left. He visited the animals first and then sifted through the rack of puzzles looking for his favorite Pluto puzzle. As expected, he and Delaney greeted each other with excitment and were happily playing as we made our exit. It was fun to see the kid's again, how all of the boy's seemed to shoot up an inch in three short months and catch up with the parent's and the summer activities that kept us all so busy. I noticed Jay glance at me as we left to see if there were the normal tear filled eyes, but I am proud to admit that today there were none. But I did see the look in his eyes as well, our baby is growing up before our very eyes.
I had intended to write this post tomorrow, after the 1st day of school. After I see the excitment on his face when he sees his friends and greets Pokey (the turtle) again. After I walk away and the world doesn't crumble and come to an instataneous end, after I smile to myself and think of all the stories that will greet me at the end of the day. I look forward to hearing his take on the day and how Delaney's summer was and what story they read, and so forth. And then I can put my sappy, sentimental, only one more year till Kindergarten mind to rest. I can stop thinking about my own feelings and focus on his very important 4 yr. old interpretation of life. And that makes me smile. I'll admit that I still have a vision of chasing down the school bus driver next fall and demanding that he return my baby, but I have a year to work on that. Hopefully, by this time next year my counselor has worked on my seperation anxiety issues.
So, tomorrow is the day of joy for Jack and the feeling in my gut that I know I will feel as I turn and walk away. And I'm sure I'll turn and take a last peak through the glass for my own mental snapshot of his first day of school.
*************************************************************************************
September 5th
Today is the day and I was early to rise, before the kiddos opened their eyes. Truly my favorite mommy time of the day and sometimes the only...and I felt refreshed as I sipped the heavenly cup of joe. The day began clear and beautiful as a reminder to me that this needed to not be a sappy day, but a happy one.
Jack rose excitedly, chanting, "it's my first day of school, my first day of school" and again I smiled to myself. I can enjoy his excitment as I cuddle him as he is still in the early morning wake up state. I still try to hold his growing frame as I always have and he still lets me, luckily. As I talked with him about what he was most excited about I was internally being thankful that he still enjoys being wrapped in a bath towel burrito and hugged after bathtime, that he will still tells me he loves me at random times throughout the day and that I have still earned my favorite phrase, "your the best mom ever"...as if he had a choice on mothers. He's still and always will be my little boy and that's all that really matters to me. I do know that over the years we may define our closness in different ways, he won't always climb in bed with me when he hears Jay leave in the early morning...and that's okay.
The classroom greeted us cheerily as always, and I passed the camera to Jay as Jackson helped his new teacher hang the picture of himself for the year on Pokey the turtle's aquarium. I glanced at a quiet Jay as he watched Jack acclimate himself quickly to the room, as if he had never left. He visited the animals first and then sifted through the rack of puzzles looking for his favorite Pluto puzzle. As expected, he and Delaney greeted each other with excitment and were happily playing as we made our exit. It was fun to see the kid's again, how all of the boy's seemed to shoot up an inch in three short months and catch up with the parent's and the summer activities that kept us all so busy. I noticed Jay glance at me as we left to see if there were the normal tear filled eyes, but I am proud to admit that today there were none. But I did see the look in his eyes as well, our baby is growing up before our very eyes.
Jackson and his "best friend from school" Delaney
"Why can't I go too?"
1 comment:
No kidding those boys are growing up before your eyes .. they look so old! Way to go mom, you did great on the first day of school. I am not looking forward to that day in any way, shape, or form.
Post a Comment