Mom by Choice

I have had the unfortunate opportunity to spend quite a few late afternoon's in the waiting room of our pediatrician's office. Andrew's ears are being stubborn, poor guy. For all of you mom's out there, you'll understand what an interesting experience this can be!



You meet and learn about all types of children, and most importantly, their parents. Being a mother of son's I always wonder what my life will be in 10 years. Will my boys still smile at me the instant they see me, will Jackson still tell me his secrets and dreams at 14?



Day one of four: I see two other people sitting in the "sick kid" side of the office. One a women in her forties who is dozing in the chair, as if she hasn't slept in years. Two a boy, probably 13 across the lobby with his hat over his eyes, which are covered by his hands. Obviously, not feeling the best. These two are not speaking, and quite honestly, I didn't realize they were even together. Other mom's were coming in and out, but these two remained. They sat, they dozed, but they never once spoke...until she woke. "Do you feel better yet?" "No, my head still hurts." " You SHOULD have taken Motrin at home!", she rolls her eyes...stupid kid?!*& "Uh, huh" was his only response.



Day four of four: A mother and son, who I learned was 10, sit down next to me in the "sick kid" lobby. By now, I am thinking, please don't cough, breathe or speak to me...I have had enough of this routine and place! I was grumbily. He, once again, was obviously sick and lethargic. But this time his mom was engaged, talking about how nice the St. Patty's day four leaf clovers were hanging from the ceiling. Wondering how his day was, how he was feeling, what he would like to do when he got home. Did he need help catching up with his homework? Did he want to stop at the store to pick up something that sounded good to eat tonight? And I turned to see what his response was, he was smiling through his discomfort...and answering her questions. You could instantly tell that she gave no other option. She encouraged him through his sometimes negative answers, lifting him up to the point of smiles. She was a mother of sons. They began to interact with Andrew, who was drawn to this pleasant boy. And we began to talk, she shared that she had two sons, another that was 12. How much she enjoyed them and how close they were now. I learned that she had always worked, and always strives to maintain an open relationship with the boys, even when it was hard. I learned so much from this stranger in the 15 minutes we spent talking, she was put there for me on that grumbily day.



I choose to be that type of mom, that no matter what type of day, no matter the hours in my day that we share...to take the time to really "see" who they are and what they are about. And instead of trying to mold them in to something that I want them to be I will accept and embrace who they truly are. I can only hope that someday years from now, my boys will look at me and smile and say, " I may need some help with my English tonight, mom."

Happy 100th Birthday, Great-Great Grandma!

Monday, March 12th marked the 100th year for my great-grandmother Anna. It is almost mind boggling to think of the past 100 years in history and to think that she has witnessed all of the great strides we have taken. And she is still going strong, we all gathered at her church on Sunday and listened to her speak in front of the congregation. I was again amazed when she began the speech by quoting what her mother Fannie had talked about in the same church on her 100th birthday. She looked beautiful with her shimmering white hair and deep purple suit. I found myself drinking her in throughout the day, remembering her over the years of my life and wondering if in 70 years I too could stand in front of my "enormous" family and quote her on this day. As family and friends shared their memories of her, my favorite was her brother's story. He said someone had called looking for her and she wasn't answering her phone. When they called back later she said, " I'm not sure where I was, probably outside spading the garden!" So, hat's off to you grandma and the legacy you have created. We wish you the most wonderful day and look forward to celebrating 101.

"He's a GREAT Barber, Mom!"

I'm sure many of you have heard the tale I am about to tell, but as I go through my days I find myself giggling to myself still...so I must share!


Friday marked Jackson's very first sleepover. He counted down the days with anxious anticipation and FINALLY it was Friday. He somehow made it through his day and was proudly waiting by the door, suitcase in hand when Allison and Grant arrived. Anyone who knows Jackson knows that he adores his "cousint" Grant, if he could be Grant's clone it would be his life's wish :) .


Jay, Andrew and I weren't quite sure what to do with ourselves without Jackson there to offer ideas, talk and all the other entertaining things we find ourselves occupied with. It was so quiet it was almost eerie. So, we packed up to get dinner somewhere louder. Poor little Andrew was so lonely in the backseat he did nothing but cry the entire time we were in the car...little brother syndrome, I think. Jay and I are starting to enjoy catching up with each other over dinner and Andrew is charming the table next to him with the "I'll throw this on the floor and smile at you and then you pick it up for me" game. That 's when we got the calls. First, Allison calls and talks to Jay (by the way on the weekend if you need us, call Jay...I never answer mine!), she wants to know our email address and won't say anything but "check your mail"! Next, mom calls hysterically laughing and once again...no one will tell. So, after I drug my remaining two boys to Pier One to browse...we headed home.


Here are the pictures we found: This would be the wall going down to the basement at the Webster's house.

Through laughing tears I hear Allison tell the tale of the boys going down to the toy room to play while she set the table for dinner. Jackson comes upstairs...after the fact...and says,"Allison, I need to tell you something, but I'm a little shy." REALLY, SHY?!*& Anyway, she follows him to the steps and they proceed to tell her that "they are just being helpful". We apparently need to define that word a little to the two of them!

Okay, fast forward to after dinner. The boys are upstairs playing, quietly. WARNING, WARNING...the boys are quiet...Allison heads upstairs to do the "walk by". She finds Jackson and Grant standing in front of Freddy's full length mirror. Grant with scissors in hand saying, "it's right there, doesn't it look good!" while Jackson is admiring his work. The only thing I remember Allison saying during this portion of the conversation is that Jackson was yelling after her on her way down the stairs to "Give Grant his scissors back!"

So, Grant has found his profession. He apparently had a few days before come into Freddy's room while Allison was rocking him and said, "How do I look?" "Fine, why?" "I was cutting my hair in my room, see?! But don't worry, I wore my goggles so the hair didn't get in my eyes!"

And Jackson is at home telling Jay, Adam and I what a "Great barber Grant is...see!" Priceless...the laughs from these boys!

Allison and I have concluded that this sleepover, that by the way, Jackson came back home @ 11:30 slept until 8:00 and went back over for breakfast, is only the beginning of the "Boy things" that we will experience together. Just wait until they can talk the little guys into doing all of the ornery schemes that they imagine.